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Ultimately everybody’s looking to get to the next level, and for many men in New York, a larger woman is the bottom level, regardless of what she’s like.
There’s a misconception that plus-size girls are insecure in their bodies.
He kept saying over and over, “I think you’re beautiful.” My first instinct was, This is a joke, someone put him up to it—which says a lot about where I was at that point. Experience, age and understanding that a lot of people attracted to me because of (or in spite of) my size takes away some of the nervousness I used to feel on dates. I was trying to move over him, and he said, “Your weight is hurting me.” That brought me back to reality. I was wearing a new outfit and these really hot tights, and in one fell swoop, he brought me down a little bit.
He wasn’t like, “Hi, I’m a fetishist,” he just wants to have sex with random plus-size women. Is someone who likes plus-size girls a fetishist just because his preference isn’t mainstream?It was a different world there: Size wasn’t so much of an issue, though there was a hierarchy, with the skinnier girls at the top.I had a few boyfriends every summer, and when I got really thin, I suddenly had a boyfriend back at school, too. After that it was back to the old way, and I didn’t have a boyfriend anymore. I was always overweight, but when I got to Vassar I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome.I didn’t gain a freshman 15, I gained a freshman 50.Then my dad died when I was 22 and I wasn’t interested in anything anymore. It wasn’t until I was 28 that I decided I wanted to date again, after I got back in touch with people from camp.